Title: He Was[n't] There
Pairing: GDYB, OneSided BaeRi
Length: OneShot
Rating: R for mild sex scenes and angst
Warnings: One character is already dead, nothing too dramatic though
Summary: For YoungBae, JiYong was still there; For the rest of Big Bang YoungBae had left with JiYong.
Comments: So I was listening to Sinners and well my fingers started moving and it ended up being words and this 931 lettered OneShot xD So this is my first BB Fanfic but no worries I have angsty expirience! It's a little heartbreaking but in a really romantic yet twisted way of three way love! Please read! Comments are like YB's abs!

 

Title: Seconds to Eternity
Pairing: YunJae
Length: One-Shot
Warnings: Angst, somewhat descriptive hospital scenes 
Comments: This is a choose your path fic. Where at some point, you will be given an option to decide what will happen next. This one is fairly simple, it could be a romantic story or an angst one. But you should always read both! Hoep you enjoy and comments are like addictive cookies~
Summary:

“JaeJoong…”

“YunHo… please”

“I love you”

“Shut up! You are only allowed to say that when you come out of that surgery room!”

“JaeJoong”

“Promise me.”

“I can’t promise you anything”

Seconds to Eternity

“It was all so fast YunHo”

I felt his hands over my body. I felt his breath taking away my own. His lips tickled and caressed every untouched part of my body and every moan; every sound that came from his mouth covered my whole body in a bitter sweet sheet. I grabbed his hair and made him do it harder, tighter, faster… hotter.

I remember his neck, arching as I wrapped around his member. I remember the sweat that trickled down his chin; how he whispered in my ear all the things he planned to do with my body. His eyes shined with lust as they connected with mine. It was all too good, and it was all too passionate. It was filled with so much good, that the bad had to overflow. It had so much of pleasure that pain had come in when the blood started dripping.

The nights where so perfect, they turned to days. Days of sun and cheers, laughs and joy. It was all so fake; so much like a Barbie’s smile, fake. The nights of passion turned to days of walking, alongside each other. But it all happened so fast, it all happened in seconds.

The walks were too perfect, straight and the streets where clean; the sun was too bright, it made little halos on each of our heads. Nobody looked our way as we held hands, where are all the hypocrites hidden now that everything is so perfect? There was too much perfection, and I knew fate decided it had to happen. They gave me happiness to overcome the sadness that was to come. And just in seconds…

You where gone

In seconds

You weren’t holding my hand

In seconds I screamed

You where on the floor

In seconds, the back of your head banged against the floor.

In seconds the bullet pierced you

In seconds it connected with your shoulder.

And in seconds I dropped crying

In seconds your eyes closed and in seconds you said I love you. In seconds the men ran away. And in seconds I was on my edge, I was destroyed and I couldn’t control myself. Blood, there was so much blood. It was dripping down your neck and all over your chest; it was all over us like a seal. Not much after, I stuttered on the phone the address. And only in minutes we were in the bus. Your eyes were still closed, but you where breathing. My eyes were still stained with my tears and my face with your blood. My hand still held yours though, the grip on your side still weak. Your face was stained in tears and blood, and the nurse wouldn’t let me clean them away.

In hours you where in your room; finally I was able to see you, finally I was able to touch you. In less than seconds, you looked up and even though you didn’t move your mouth, you smiled with your eyes. You held out your hand, and it found mine in seconds. You pulled me slowly, but my eyes started to water again as I kept diving towards you. I shook my head, but you kept pulling at my hand.

I gave up.

I cried on him.

I screamed ‘How dare you scare me?’

I screamed ‘You’d better not die, or else I’ll go right behind you!’

He kissed my lips.

He whispered in my ear for me to calm down. That I was being paranoid, that he was still there. I looked at our connected hands and with my mouth agape I started to sob.

“You’re here… you’re here”

He was there, alive. He was still here, holding my hand. “Yeah… I would never leave you alone. You’re too clumsy” I chuckled but it was overshadowed by my sob as I carefully hugged him. “Oh god, don’t do this to me again. Don’t try to stop a fight that’s not yours!” I cried loudly, his neck was getting wet with my tears. YunHo pushed me a little.

“I would never leave a person in need abandoned. They where ganging up on a 15 year old JaeJoong, I had to. And I would do it again” YunHo didn’t even take a breath to think his words. “Please, remember who suffers when you do these kinds of things” I cried a little more.

“JaeJoong…”

“No, don’t say anymore”

“I love you…”

“Oh god, I think it’s that you don’t understand!”

“I love you”

“YunHo stop! You sound like you’re saying goodbye!”

“I just want to make sure you know that”

“Wh—what do you mean?” My voice was stuttering. My hand held on to his, shaking almost.

“The blood all over my neck, a construction nail pierced my neck, all the way. They won’t know the outcomes of---“

“YunHo!” Don’t finish it. It’s too soon. It’s too soon for you to say goodbye. We’re so young, we love each other so much, and we were made for each other. How are we going to be together if he wasn’t there!?

“Shut up! Nothing will happen you hear me!? YOU are going to come back to my arms, and let me hug you and I cry myself to sleep on your chest. YOU are going to make love to me as soon as we get home, because you WILL get home you hear me! YOU will smile at me and tell me it’s going to be alright! Because it’ll be alright!”

“JaeJoong…”

“YunHo… please”

“I love you”

“Shut up! You are only allowed to say that when you come out of that surgery room!”

“JaeJoong”

“Promise me.”

“I can’t promise you anything”

“YunHo!”

“JaeJoong listen! You need to be strong for me! You need to be strong for our family! You need to be strong for YooChun, JunSu, and little Changmin you hear me!”

I was down to my knees. My hands covered my wet face, and my bangs where drenched in my tears. I looked up to the ceiling in disbelief.

“Now you promise me you’ll be strong for all of us!”

“I..”

“JaeJoong!”

“I promise YunHo, I promise for all of us; for our children. And don’t you dare leave us alone! Now you promise me, I’ll hear my ‘I love you’ from you when you come OUT of that operation room”

“I wouldn’t be able to stand breaking a promise to you, love. I won’t make that promise. But remember yours”

I cried more and I wanted to fight him more, to make him promise. But the doctor walked in, and I sat down roughly next to YunHo. “YunHo…” I turned my head softly to him, and I saw the bandages around his neck.

“Remember your promise”

The doctor looked at me as he pulled the bed. “Wait!” The doctor stopped and I stood next to him, next to my love. “Say it one more time before you go in there. Please”

“JaeJoong, baby, love, I love you more than my life. I love you and I love the kids. I’ve loved you more than anything any God can offer me. Now please” YunHo’s eyes got teary, and my own tears just started to run faster.

“Remember. No matter what, be strong”

The bed started to move again and I followed until the red line was in view.

“One more time! Please!”

“I love you!”

“YunHo!!”

“Sir, you will have to wait behind the red line”

Yu—YunHo… YunHo. Oh god my YunHo!

I saw his hair, and then I saw his left hand sticking out of the bed and his fingers where crossed. I smiled as I cried further, crossing my own fingers, and at the same time as YunHo, brought them to my heart.

“I promise” JaeJoong… I love you

“To remember” YunHo… I love you

I promise, for you.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!

----- Will YunHo survive? Or will JaeJoong be faced with his promise? Which is which?-----

a) “Here’s the culprit” The doctor held up the nail, it was about 4 inches and the tip was ragged… bloody.

b) “Umma, can we see appa now!?”

JaeJoong couldn’t take it anymore, the waiting, the suspense, and the boring color on the walls he had to keep staring at. He had no more nails for goodness gracious! The doctors rushed by and so did the color on his face. YooChun had been sitting three chairs away from him, his fingers stumbled one on the other as he fidgeted nonstop. Eventually JunSu told him to accompany him to the cafeteria; his face was red, his nose burning and his face stained with tears. Changmin was surprisingly quite, no sobs, no words either. He kept staring at his cell phone and once in a while whispering something incoherent to JaeJoong’s ears.

His background held a picture of the family. Of them when the smiles where there, when they were all healthy.  JaeJoong wanted to say something, but he saw a tear covering Changmin’s lips hesitantly and a small intake of breath. JaeJoong let his head fall down as he sobbed, his bangs covered in tears again. He had refused to change, or go home, who would?

His love, his passion, was inside that room. Who knows how everything was going. Who knows if Yunho’s eyes closed forever? The waiting room kept getting smaller around him and his breathing got uneven… it was too much before---

“Doctor, the nerves around the wound are… very delicate.” One of the nurses noted as they put on their masks and gloves. “We have to do our best” The doctor assured and after all the ratings where normal and YunHo was fast asleep, they began. “The extraction begins now” The doctor as carefully as possible pulled the first inch out of YunHo’s neck. “Heartbeat increased to 100 and rising” The assistant stated, the main doctor sweated under the pressure. “Okay, everyone ready for the worst” The second inch came off “Doctor—“

“JaeJoong calm down, please” He had been pulling at his hairs, wishing that he didn’t have to go through it all. “I promised—I promised” He repeated to himself, he got up, walked, messed with his hair, and sniffled around. After seeing Changmin cry… Changmin doesn’t cry often. It undid me Yunho, but I bet you’re being strong as well. I can’t let you down Yunnie. JaeJoong finally came back, YooChun and JunSu awaited for them there already. “Umma- you’re not alone. Please don’t be so far away from us. We’re suffering too” JaeJoong looked at them, at their red faces and husky voices. “Come here” He said as sat down in the middle “We have to be ready for anything okay? Whether he lives or—“

“Doctor, the hemorrhage isn’t getting any better”

“His heart beat is uncontrolled, sir” He looked over at the screen as he dealt with the injury. Even though the nail had been finally removed, the hemorrhage was beginning to reach level III. “Doctor, 35% blood loss” Basically, when the hemorrhage reaches level III, the patient's blood pressure drops, the heart rate increases, shock such as capillary refill worsens, and the mental status worsens. Eventually, the nurse held onto the wound being tended and looked up “Doctor, if this keeps up, we’ll have to—“

“JaeJoong” YooChun looked at the older one “Whatever happens, we’ll all be strong okay? Don’t be so selfless, we’re going through this as well” YooChun assured and JaeJoong stiffly, almost coldly, nodded. “I understand. Let’s just--- wait and see” JunSu looked at the other two boys worriedly, but refrained from saying anything about him. JaeJoong had a feeling, this just very unsettling feeling inside his heart. “YunHo...” He muttered aloud and YooChun could only frown at the other, holding JunSu tight “Shh, JunSu, we’re all---“

“Doctor!” The nurses rushed around “Get me the charge and turn him around!” Even though the hemorrhage had been stopped, YunHo had lost so much blood that he was starting to convulse. Hopefully now, all that it took was bringing him back. “Clear!” The first shock went by like a breeze, like nothing had happened. YunHo’s fingertips blackened. “Going up 50, clear!” The second flew by also “Give him some oxygen and pump his heart!” The nurses did as told, and the doctor went for a third one. “How is his pressure!?” He almost yelled and the nurse took a look at the screen “We’ve—“

The doctor came out through the doors, sweaty and with slight pants; some blood was covering his pants. “Jung Family?” The doctor asked, but only towards JaeJoong. The other three had decided to step down stairs. Changmin was tired, he wanted coffee and YooChun just wanted some air, JunSu going on behind him. “Doctor! The other’s aren’t here but please let me know how my Yunnie is!” The doctor looked around “Where is the rest of your family?” JaeJoong looked desperate “They’ll be here in just a sec—“

“Changmin, JunSu, we have to be completely and utterly strong for JaeJoong-umma okay? We can’t let ourselves falter at this! Whatever may happen okay?” YooChun said as they sat outside, drinking and eating a snack. “But YooChun what if—“ YooChun looked at him “We have to be strong for him okay? No matter what” They nodded sadly and discarded their snacks, deciding to head upstairs. It was a long elevator ride. “I wonder how much more will we have to wait” JunSu muttered as they walked towards their ‘umma’.

“Umma, can we see Appa now!?” Changmin asked excited as he spotted the doctor leaving and JaeJoong’s back. No response? JunSu ran, fearing the worst as he walked around JaeJoong and tears where straining his cheeks “JaeJoong” JunSu’s own face darkened. JaeJoong was traumatized; stuttering things back and forth.  “My—YunHo… YunHo…”

“We’ve lost him sir...” The nurse stated softly and sadly “Monday, 3:26 am, August 5 2009.” She said softly looking at the time of death. They covered YunHo up and the other helpers took of their gloves and masks, disappointed. The main doctor kicked the trash. “I can’t believe I let him go without a fight” He threaded his hand through his hair. “Sir, it’s not your fault, we all fought hard” She said and patted his back, walking out of the room silently. “I’m sorry JaeJoong-ssi…”

I have to be strong for—for my... oh god YunHo! I can’t do this! “HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME!? I CAN’T DO THIS! I LOVE YOU AND YOU JUST LEAVE ME!? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? YOU IDIOT! I—I love you” JaeJoong had been causing a scene again. JunSu didn’t want to stop him, crying sadly at the side of the coffin. Changmin decided to just stand next to the coffin with a serious face and YooChun, YooChun was tired from crying so much and just let JaeJoong cry on him. JaeJoong had been convulsing from his sobs and his shoulders shook along with his heart.

“Yun—“ Changmin walked next to him, stern. “JaeJoong, stop crying. You promised him right?” The older one looked up and frowned “I can’t… help it Changmin-ah, let me cry please” He begged and the taller one shook his head “No, you can’t cry. Now please say your goodbyes umma, it’s time to head to the cemetery” JaeJoong opened his eyes wide. “NO! YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM AWAY! NO, NOT NOW!” He begged, over and over, but it was in vain, he had to crawl over to his lover, he wanted to touch him.

When he did, his face was rigid, still to his touch. Even though his fingers where shaking from his sobs and disgust, he did his best to leave his hand atop of the other’s cheek, but it was too much to feel him like that; before he would caress him to sleep, between his arms. But now he had to opt to caress his hair gently, that was still soft, to murmur out his goodbyes. “Baby, YunHo, I can’t stop crying. Give me a few days, weeks… maybe months or years. And, and-- I love you; please remember that, I still can’t believe you left me with all this responsibility.”

But it couldn’t stop there, the rest of the members cried next to him. All the fans around the world cried softly, more than 200 people tried to enter the funeral. And for their last performance, they would sing Bolero for YunHo. Right at the climax, when JunSu started, followed by YooChun’s ‘Let you dance away’ JaeJoong realized the single part YunHo wouldn’t be able to sing. JunSu kept going on while JaeJoong’s face was drenched in tears. “Don’t you know… yeah” JaeJoong muttered the lyric of what was supposed to be sung by YunHo.

I’ll stand by your side.

As expected from the crowd and crying fans, JaeJoong started to sob at the part. Stupid lyrics. But when the time came to carry on with the show, he did his best to keep his cries and pleas for the silent night.

“Fly away, fly away, fly away, fly to the top”

“Fly forever---“

----

“JaeJoong-hyung, it’s been 4 months. Please, you’re making JunSu and Changmin feel…. Depressed. You have to start over JaeJoong-hyung.” YooChun entered JaeJoong and YunHo’s shared bedroom, a warm body curled up in the sheets of the owner. YunHo. “Leave me alone, I deserve to cry. At least cry” JaeJoong sobbed again.

YooChun frowned in worry and his eyes watered. “They are worried about…--“ Changmin opened the door further and walked in hesitantly, sadly. “What will happen to us hyung, what about us?” Jaejoong turned to them, sitting up, his eyes covered in dried tears along with his cheeks, neck and the pillow. “There is no more Dong Bang Shin Ki, it’s over, we’re over. I’m not doing anything without YunHo, and neither should you” He shot them an expecting look. “No more… DBSK?” JunSu butted in, covering his mouth sadly. “No JunSu-ssi, no more DBSK, and no more appa”

“JaeJoong! You can’t keep speaking like this! Can’t you see what you are causing upon your friends, your supposed children?!” JaeJoong looked at YooChun “I am doing nothing anybody else would do at such a loss, you’re being completely selfish YooChun. I lost my loved one, my one and only, my soul mate. Can’t you see a part of my soul has been ripped out!?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

“If this is really going to happen, then we at least have to make a goodbye show. No matter what JaeJoong, you have to think of all the fans that cry and prey over YunHo, you have to at least say goodbye.” JaeJoong nodded towards his manager and president of SM. Changmin was holding onto JunSu tightly, head hung low and teeth digging into his lip, holding in the cries of his dreams and family crumbling, his screams.

-=-=-=

“And for last… JaeJoong will sing his goodbyes to both you, our dearest of fans, and to our leader Jung YunHo, may he rest in peace. Fans, to all you who have followed us and who are here today, you have no idea what it is to us, to lose our leader and all of our experiences with you, all around the world and in our hometown. So many things where achieved, so many people awed and so many jaws dropped at us, so many concert halls and so much success. But most of all, so much love.”

JunSu approached YooChun an embraced him, along with Changmin. “Hyung, if you keep going, none of us will be able to sing” Changmin chuckled sadly into the microphone, and YooChun with his own tears kissed Changmin’s head. “So please, excuse if we stop singing but I bet you all understand at this point. Now, here is JaeJoong with his specially written song for both you… and his beloved.”

The song started with a sob… and softly, very softly YooChun started to play his piano.

“Everybody…. Insa.

Even that time, when the wind stopped

was not enough for me

A single smile, the last bow

I love you...you..

Even if I became weary from the time

Even if I became hurt by love

Even that time was a memory for me

You're taking your last bow

I love you

I love you

Fly away”

A pause, soft sobbing. A deep breath.

“Fly away love

Fly away

Fly away

Fly away

Fly away love

The one true love of my life Goodbye...”

And the silence covered the stadium in a sheen of sadness and remorse, of tears and sobs; of strangled cries for YunHo to come back. The soft confession that YunJae was indeed real was merely overlooked by everyone’s tears as JaeJoong fell to the floor, sobbing, and the microphone next to him.

“I…. I love you. YunHo”

There were no words needed, no more cries to be yelled out as everyone let their tears drop silently, it’s shine and sentiment flying up to the heavens in a glorious sentiment that surely… everyone knew, YunHo was aware of.

[FIN]

SO!? How was it? Was it torturous? Did I over do it? Jijiji~ xD Well, what can I say, I don't like angst but I like writing it. Jeje~ Anywho, why don't you go to the main post and leave meh a comment~? :3 jiji

Ending A

JaeJoong couldn’t take it anymore, the waiting, the suspense, and the boring color on the walls he had to keep staring at. He had no more nails for goodness gracious! The doctors rushed by and so did the color on his face. YooChun had been sitting three chairs away from him, his fingers stumbled one on the other as he fidgeted nonstop. Eventually JunSu told him to accompany him to the cafeteria; his face was red, his nose burning and his face stained with tears. Changmin was surprisingly quite, no sobs, no words either. He kept staring at his cell phone and once in a while whispering something incoherent to JaeJoong’s ears.

His background held a picture of the family. Of them when the smiles where there, when they were all healthy. JaeJoong wanted to say something, but he saw a tear covering Changmin’s lips hesitantly and a small intake of breath. JaeJoong let his head fall down as he sobbed, his bangs covered in tears again. He had refused to change, or go home, who would?

His love, his passion, was inside that room. Who knows how everything was going. Who knows if Yunho’s eyes closed forever? The waiting room kept getting smaller around him and his breathing got uneven… it was too much before---

The doctor sweated under the pressure of the surgery, seeing the family before surgery was never recommended. “Okay, the extracting begins now” Everyone around him took a breath, a doctor always checking on his heartbeat. The first inch slid off, the monitor beeped faster “90 and rising doctor” The doctor cursed and moved to remove the next inch “100 but stable” She mentioned and his hand shook, the monitor beeped louder, and YunHo gasped. “Inject 30 mm of—“

Changmin approached him and hugged him “No, I’ll keep crying if you hug—me” He gave up and hugged his body close to his own. “Chang—Changmin-ah” He sobbed and Changmin couldn’t help it, he had to sob along, he had to let it out as much as he hated it. “Umma… stop crying” He looked up to find

“YooChun-ah… JunSu-ah” He smiled bitterly and YooChun caressed his hair, letting the other lean on his hip also. JunSu sat down next to JaeJoong and kissed his cheek “We all have to be strong umma, for appa, it doesn’t have to be just you” JaeJoong smiled and got hugged further “But I promised YunHo—for all of us that I’d be—“

“Doctor, his pulse is escalating”

“We won’t lose him!”

“The hemorrhage is reaching level 2 sir! Time is running up!” The doctors hurried to attend at his neck. “Give this man some oxygen!” Their hands where covered in blood, the wound had been damaged further and his heartbeat was off the charts. Suddenly, his heart stopped, just as they closed his wound successfully. “Get me the charge!” A nurse looked at him “But doctor—“

“Get me that charge now!” Not much after he was reading the machine. “Clear” YunHo’s chest bounced off and a small beep filled the screen, but then went flat. “Clear” Again and YunHo’s head bobbed. “How is it?” The nurse looked at the screen. “We—“

The doctor walked through the doors while dispensing of his mask. JaeJoong jumped and so did the other three. YooChun held onto JaeJoong’s shoulders while JunSu grabbed onto his arm, Changmin grabbed the other. “Doctor…” YooChun started “Tell us…” JunSu “How is...” Changmin “YunHo?” JaeJoong tried to hold back his tears. The doctor sighed and they all held in a breath. “The surgery has been a success” JaeJoong smiled as he gasped, and suddenly he was out. YooChun grabbed him and smiled, laid him down softly. The doctor spoke with Changmin ““Here’s the culprit” The doctor held up the nail, it was about 4 inches and the tip was ragged… bloody. Changmin took it in his hands and after clenching it within his fists, threw it away in the biohazard bin. “Doctor, there is no way of thanking you” YooChun looked at the doctor with a grateful smile; JunSu didn’t even bother to speak. His face was red again, his ears and nose burning and as the whole day, his face covered in the bitter sweet tears. “My—My YunHo is alive…” JaeJoong knew that YunHo would keep his promise.

“He—I—we did it Yunnie…”

YunHo had just woken up within the intensive care department of the hospital, everything was covered in soft pastel greens and dull cream colors. His vision was hazy and limited; the neck brace prevented him from moving his head whatsoever. His eyes scanned around him, nothing more than the usual machine next to him and a tuff of black right under his vision…? “What is—“He tried to get up but a hand stopped him, covering his chest lightly “YunHo-ah, careful or you’ll hurt yourself.” JaeJoong’s soothing voice resonated inside his ears. His own eyes widened. “JaeJoong”

The other smiled softly “Welcome back Yunnie” he chuckled a little bit as he caressed the other’s soft hair.  YunHo looked around confused, as much as he could, though easier now that JaeJoong had stood up. “The kids are back home, JunSu and Changmin where too tired from crying and excitement, YooChun took them for me. I decided to stay of course” JaeJoong chuckled and his hand landed upon YunHo’s cheek, his warmth passing onto the skin of the other. “I love you” YunHo smiled. “I fulfilled my promise, did you?” He asked with small tears hanging at the sides of his eyes.

“No…” He laughed and half sobbed but opted to ask no questions when his lover decided to lean in and award his him with a simple kiss.

[FIN]

So how was it? Did you read the B first? Or are you gonna read it now? If you haven't, GO!! And leave me a comment on the main post~ ~_^

Title: What is YunJae really?
Rating: PG
Summary: So what is YunJae really, to all you fans, and to us the couple, really? What is YunJae to us, YunHo?
Comment: So yeah, it's really short and fluffy. Veyr very sweet! Please comment neeee~~~?
Word Count: 677

Present

But then there where those moments of angst that just ended bringing them even closer… Those moments when you think that all hope is flushed, and yet when everything connects slowly, fact by fact, it ends up being much more that you had intended to in the first place; creating that never-ending connection and love that grew over the years… Like with Kyo and Ruki. Just like this moment, when they realized just how much it had changed between them…

October 24, 2002

Kyo stood in the bridge, waiting for Ruki to appear; it had been 1 hour already and the rain was evident. Kyo tried to hold his composure; but the tears flowed heavily. I watched all the way from home, crying also, I felt what Kyo did. How could Ruki do this? No it couldn’t be. I had to check what was wrong.

I looked for Ruki, concentrating my power in my hands and eyes as I tried to spot Ruki in town. I gasped at what my eyes saw, and I went running to Kyo. “Kyo!! You have to help Ruki!! He’s in danger! Hurry” He panicked and I told him where he was, Kyo ran faster than I thought any human could.

Ruki had been stuck inside his apartment, a fire suffocating him slowly, Ruki was sobbing on the ground slightly calling Ruki’s name. “Kyo! Please save me… please” Kyo was closer and closer to the building; I called the fire department, passing myself as a human. Kyo ran up the stairs even though the people living there begged he didn’t; that he would get hurt.

Kyo cried all the way to his room and banged on it with his shoulder, to no avail and he sobbed harder. “Ruki! Can you hear me??” He yelled through the door and Ruki looked up form his futile position. “Kyo!? Oh God! Kyo please save me!!” He yelled as he tried to get as close to the almost burning door. “I can’t breathe well Kyo!”

Kyo kept banging at the door, using his feet, shoulder, hands, anything to help him. I stood at the street still, I could do nothing. Then, when the firefighters arrived, they told Kyo to go back to the street and he had to. The door was taken down in seconds, it almost seemed it disintegrated. They sprang into action quickly, taking care of the flames as a few others took a dog and a person out of the building.

 When Kyo saw that the firefighters brought the short man wrapped in a wet blanket, black blotches everywhere in his creamy skin. “RUKI!” He yelled from afar as he ran to him, tears still flowing. Ruki looked up terribly slowly.

”K-Kyo?” He stuttered before he threw himself over him. “God… Thank you. Kyo!” He said as he hugged him tightly. Ruki cried over his shoulder, not caring if the medics demanded his attention. “God… thank you thank you thank you!” He said as he clung hardly on Kyo. Kyo sobbed “Ruki… it’s okay. You’re with me now” He said. “Don’t leave me again please… please don’t leave me alone” He pleaded.

”Ruki. Ruki!” He yelled to get the man’s attention. “Ruki… I love you. I won’t ever leave you alone” He said as he kissed Ruki, whose tears just flowed harder. I smiled, they are definitely truly in love… “I love you Matsumoto Takanori” He whispered. “I love you Niimura Tooru. I love you so much…Thank you.” He whispered. And when tears stopped flowing, they both entered the ambulance, even though Ruki’s wounds where already healed…

Present

After two more years everything settled down, and their love grew to an immense capacity I could not believe. By the way, something Kyo didn’t know was that I was also aware of Ruki’s feelings. My other half was on his make-up table. I liked Ruki’s place. It was comfy and always smelled relaxing. Though sometimes, he tends to have too much stuff on his room and it tends to look like a mess. Jaja…

May 17, 2004

“Varentine~! How are you this wonderful day?” I giggled; after all, Ruki knew about my true self way before Kyo… ‘Cause he straight-forwardly said ‘I know you’re in there. Show yourself!’ I did, and he’s like my BFF, the girl kind. Jaja no offense.

“I’m just fine… You seem overly happy though.” I said as I chuckled and sat on the bed. “Yess~~ I am! Guess why~?” Ruki said throwing himself onto the bed next to me. “Hmm.. Reita finally showed his nose to the world?” I asked with a grin as he laughed. “Noo~ But it would help him. But what happened is that today Kyo did something I would’ve NEVER expected from him!”

I looked at him curiously. “What would that be Rukicchi?” I asked petting his hair. “He came to my practice today with flowers and my favorite chocolates! And I was just so emotional! I cried in front of everyone but I didn’t’ care and I just kissed Kyo away like there’s nothing else in my life! Then he took me to eat and such, all with a perfect ending of going to the park and watched the sunset as we kissed. And he slowly whispered I love you… in a way that made me want to cry again.” He said with a glint on his eyes, the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.

“Ruki… You’re so happy with him. You guys get closer and closer everyday. I’m so happy for you both!” And then I hugged him, patting his head. “Yeah, I think so too. Hey Varentine… can I tell you a secret?” He asked looking at me calmly and yet deep in thought. “Of course you can Nori-chan… you know that” I said with furrowed eyebrows.

He fidgeted with his fingers, as if looking for the proper words. “Well… I kind of see Kyo more as a… husband kind of.” He said the last in a cute whisper.

I had to smile; I knew Kyo’s thought anyways. “Well Ruki-Chan… Can you keep a secret too?” He looked at me curiously but nodded innocently. “I don’t think you’re alone with this feeling.” I said with a big smile, and I swear I could see his eyes tear up and then he lounged for me, hugging me while he sobbed happily. “Thank you” And once again, I felt content.

Present

Everything went by slowly, yet pleasantly. And it finally came… shortly after, the question was asked; in the perfect place, at the perfect time, and with the most precise emotions. Kyo refused to wait any more.

August 30, 2004

“Valentine… get ready because today is the day where my life becomes much more. Can you listen to then lyrics I wrote for Ruki?” I nodded eagerly. And he sat on his bed calmly, taking a notebook out and breathed before he started; we all know his words are beyond powerful.

~ My heart is singing~

When I'm here with my eyes closed like this
I always feel like you are besides me, loving me.

It was never a comfort to open my eyes until the day a flower bouquet was given to me.

Time goes by
and the seasons change so fast
but the memories of that day remain, waiting
for us to join again.

As time goes by,
you & I grow up
but the day we can laugh together again
as we did back then, is coming...

I'll surround you entirely in all of my love
I want to keep you safe, so sadness never comes your way again

When my time comes, I shall be buried under a cold terrain; but do not cry my love, a flower shall bloom there. And when the time comes for you to join me in heaven, a bouquet of roses will grow over a tomb, and they are for never to decay.

You, my shining star, never stop flying. Wait for me up there; I’ll catch up with you. Your love is my fuel; could we fly to the moon? I want your wounds to heal and for your to heart surrender to mine. But before I leave one more remark…

I want to keep you safe… forever under my wing and under my love. Will you marry me my love?

~~ I love you~~

I was slightly holding my mouth, gasping at Kyo’s every choice of words. “Kyo…” I said as a ghostly tear was shed down my cheek. And he smiled “So you liked it” He said content. What else could I do? I nodded with a happy tear.

I watched Kyo’s perfect day slowly develop, that shine in Kyo’s eyes, from expectation. And I watched how Ruki, unknowing, stepped into the waters of a hot spring, his day perfect with Kyo. Dinner at Ruki’s favorite place, dancing to their favorite song, kissing to their beautiful moon.

So when Ruki, still unknowing, steps into Kyo’s home like so many other times, but oh how different this one was going to be. Kyo stood still in the middle of the living room. “Kyo-chan?” Ruki asked cautiously, walking closer to him, and Kyo only smiled, taking Ruki’s hand on his and guiding him to the balcony, where their beautiful moon could grace them, where I could grace them.

“Takanori…” Kyo started, and Ruki knew that Kyo never used his real name unless it was something serious. “S- Something wrong Nishi-kun?” He tried his nickname, scared that something was wrong. “Takanori…” He whispered again, ands Ruki was too scared to say anything. “Tooru?”

Kyo smiled and took his guitar out and he sang. He sang his heart out, and all its contents covered Ruki in a rain of endless and wordless emotions. But Ruki would never want to dry from these. “Tooru…” Ruki whispered again.

And all I could see was Kyo’s expectants face. “Do you… Takanori?” He whispered holding out his ring. “Tooru… Yes! Oh my God! Why wouldn’t I want that!? Tooru!!” He yelled with tears flowing, giggles and fits of laughter getting louder as Ruki threw himself to Kyo kissing him deeply and his ring was inserted.

Ruki calmed himself down, and took a look at his ring. “There’s nobody and nothing in this world that I could love more than you Tooru…” Kyo smiled. “Nori, save it for the vows.” Kyo whispered and Ruki giggled, and they made love. Long, deep, wait. Does that sound wrong? Jaja, well, it’s not! They made long, deep, sweet, and passion-filled love.

Present

And now we are here… in the cruise called Carnival, honey-moon taking place. Both Dir en grey and the GazettE band-members let the other have at least a month; even if that would be deadly. They chose a Mediterranean tour that lasted 2 weeks, and they’d be staying a week in Greece. Surely lots of love making and sweet nothings where to happen in the two suites.

I’m definitely flattered and I feel lucky that I could be a part of the process of this relationship; they show society what’s not really wrong, but beautiful and sometimes even more pure than the common. So when they weren’t looking I left to the moon realm, watching over them still as their bond never broke; as their eternal vows to each other stayed firm.

I’ll most definitely write their story in the holy books for the generations to come. And as I write their passion on my golden pages, my aura, also known as moonlight, covers them in a sheet of silence and peace.

A/N: I really hoped you liked the ending, and I also hope you are looking forward to a very cute and funny Omake!! Please tell me what you think about how I made it happen! Arigatou for reading~ 8D

Title: Carnival's Mirror
Athour: abyss_of_rosses
Genre: Romance, fluff, just the tiniest touch of angst but it's still quite a sappy story; but read it!
Rating: PG-14
Disclaimer: This will never happen sadly, and I am neither God to make it happen or these guys moms; oh well, we still have our heads.
Summary:
I'm definitely flattered and I feel lucky that I could be a part of the process of this relationship; they show society what's not really wrong, but beautiful and sometimes even more pure than the common. So when they weren't looking I left to the moon realm, watching over them still as their bond never broke; and as their eternal vows to each other stayed firm.
  
Author's Notes: This story is in a third point of view of the godess living in Kyo's mirror ok? You don't get it? Just read it then! It's very cute and fluffy okay!? Maybe a little just a tad bit OOC but, ignore that now! I divided it into two parts plus an Omake.

Title: Carnival's Mirror
Athour: abyss_of_rosses
Genre: Romance, fluff, just the tiniest touch of angst but it's still quite a sappy story; but read it!
Rating: PG-14
Disclaimer: This will never happen sadly, and I am neither God to make it happen or these guys moms; oh well, we still have our heads.
Summary:
I'm definitely flattered and I feel lucky that I could be a part of the process of this relationship; they show society what's not really wrong, but beautiful and sometimes even more pure than the common. So when they weren't looking I left to the moon realm, watching over them still as their bond never broke; and as their eternal vows to each other stayed firm.
 

 
Author's Notes: This story is in a third point of view of the godess living in Kyo's mirror ok? You don't get it? Just read it then! It's very cute and fluffy okay!? Maybe a little just a tad bit OOC but, ignore that now! I divided it into two parts plus an Omake.

Carnival's Mirror
Chapter one:
In a Mirror you will see, Only what is Needed to be Seen.

It was quite a normal evening in the cruise called ‘Carnival’; the 14^th of February 2008. It was just a normal night except for the two men sitting in front of me, on the bed. One tying the other’s tie very sweetly while the other just smiled at him. These past years, I’ve seen quite the display. I was brought from home to this cruise ‘Carnival’.

I belong to Kyo; The Prophet and vocalist of Dir en grey just as he is boyfriend of Ruki; vocalist of the GazettE. Kyo, whose tie is being well… tied by Ruki, thought that he and Ruki had gone through the greatest of things with me at the side of their bed. So Kyo said “I think we should bring her along with us. I think all of us would enjoy it.”

Why would Kyo call a mirror ‘her’..? Well, I’ll secretly tell you that he named me when he first met Ruki; saying that he needed someone to vent on. My name is Valentine. You can guess why ne? Well, he met Ruki on Valentines Day.
 

February 14, 2000

Ruki worked at a flower shop back then, just as a back up. Even though Ruki was a singer, he enjoyed arranging flowers. But on a normal evening, where the sales were slow and Ruki had already finished all the orders that where ready to pick up; a very agitated man came in rumbling. He sat roughly in one of the red-cushioned seats; crossing his arms while so.

Ruki, bored out of his mind, walked over the man whose aura was scarlet. He sat slowly next to him with a very wide smile, looking down at his head. “Are you okay sir?” Said ‘sir’ looked at Ruki and shook his head. “What’s wrong? You can tell me, it’ll be our lil’ secret” Ruki said as he winked at the man and he couldn’t help but smile at that toothy grin.

“It’s stupid really. I just came here to smell the flowers. I love the smell of flowers.” He said as he looked at the other somewhat apologetically for interrupting his job. “Nothings stupid… and I do too. Now tell me what’s wrong umm…” He said trailing off for an answer. “Tooru… Nishimura Tooru.” He stated hesitantly. “Nice to meet you Nishi-kun… I’m Takanori. Matsumoto Takanori.” Kyo chuckled at the nick name. “Nice to meet you too, Nori-chan.”

Kyo sighed. “So this is what happened. My birthday is in two days and my band mates always mix Valentines Day and my birthday. I like that, but this year they just ran off to a vacation without telling me or inviting me saying that they ‘forgot’. Psst, can’t believe them.” Ruki looked at the other concentrating on his words.

“Awww, really Nishi-kun? I feel so bad! Actually wait here!” Ruki ran over to the counter where he ducked so ‘Nishi-kun’ wouldn’t see his creation. He was going to do a simple bouquet. It will resemble a lot. When he was done, he took the bouquet and placed it on his back.

“Happy early B-DAY NISHI-KUN!!” He said as he showed the man the bouquet. Kyo smiled and looked at the little card that said the meaning of each flower. The bouquet had:

Geranium - comfort

Violet - faithfulness

Pink Tulip – caring

Baby’s Breath – Festivity

White Chrysanthemum – truth

Hyacinth – sincerity

With those, Kyo had to smile wider and slightly blush at the man’s gift. He knew there was something special in him. Oh, and he knew he would be coming back.

 Days passed and Kyo kept visiting him. Days passed and even though they still called each other Nishi-kun and Nori-chan, they where also known as Kyo and Ruki. Kyo found out how Ruki hated to be called small. Ruki found out how Kyo hates to be called cute.

 So one day, Kyo sat on his usual chair while he looked at Ruki. “I have a surprise for you” Ruki looked curiously at him and smirked. “It isn’t anything naughty is it?” Kyo chuckled and Ruki softly hit his strong and manly arm. “You wish pervert.” Kyo said chuckling softly “Hm? Someone has been working out. Purr, sexy.” Ruki said, as he grabbed the others arm and smiled at Kyo’s comment; maybe he was a pervert.

Kyo smiled as he flexed and Ruki purred. This man just made him so happy. So Kyo leaned in and cut Ruki off his next words and gave him a tender, soft, very meaningful kiss. Kyo’s soft lips caressing the plump ones he had grown addicted to. Kyo smiled in the middle of it.

Ruki on the other hand, felt like crying every time Kyo kissed him like that. It brought this feeling of fill, sometimes he did cry. Sometimes he took his time to tell Kyo just how much he loved him. Just how much he appreciated the fact that Kyo chose him over millions of name-less others. He felt so… complete.

So inspired was he because of their love that Ruki found his voice. Every time he sang he hoped his voice reached Kyo’s. He hoped that Kyo could feel the tears of happiness in his voice. But before Ruki told Kyo how he loved him, Kyo handed the other a white camellia. Oh Ruki would love that one. Ruki always gave him meaningful flowers and he was clueless; but not today. It was his turn.

Ruki looked at the white camellia and his eyes shined. “A white camellia. Kyo you’re just so... lovable” And so they shared another very soft kiss that made Ruki sob on Kyo’s lips while he grabbed the other’s neck whispering ‘I love you’ over and over.

A white camellia meant ‘You’re adorable’.

Present

So right now, Ruki is preparing Kyo for a ball. They are sitting in the suite’s silk-covered bed, Ruki trying to make the best tie knot he can while Kyo just pets his hair sweetly. These two men, they look so happy and beautiful.
 
Kyo doesn’t know, but even before he named me, I was watching. I saw him go through his bad times, cutting himself and crying himself to sleep with a Warumono on one hand and a picture of his parents in the other. I cried every night he did that, the dull sounds of cracking didn’t seem weird to him apparently since one night he said… “That cracking noise, it only happens when I do this. It must be the sound of the pieces of my heart breaking and falling…” I cried more and he seemed pacified by so and fell asleep

 Then on Valentines Day, he came in unusually happy….

February 14, 2000

Kyo came in singing Kiyoharu. Kyo didn’t usually sing freely, only barely in the shower and of course on his sanctuary, the stage. So he came in singing, swaying his head to the rhythm.

I couldn’t help but be curious as to what his band-mates did that would make Kyo act like that; though I felt very happy for it. But no, I was wrong. His band-mates had done nothing today; which obviously surprised me. And that’s when I was ‘born’.

“Oh mirror, mirror on the wall. How peaceful you look. There are many things I wish to ask, but right now, a name I shall give you. You shall be named Valentine, for today, Valentine’s Day I have met the light of my life. So every day I will come and talk to you. Vent, I hope you listen, and I promise that I will take great care of you. Thank You Valentine” He said oddly yet cutely in a poetic like voice.

So Valentine was born, and Kyo didn’t break his promise. He kept me well, cleaning me weekly and telling me every single detail about the day. I was curious about such Ruki that was making Kyo so happy. And I only had to wait 2 months. 2 days later when Ruki left the apartment, Kyo told me the whole story and saying sorry for not speaking to me for 2 days. He’s so lovable, like Ruki said. And of course… this Ruki was very cute as well; they where perfect for each other.

And so, the day came where Kyo asked me if he should confess to Ruki. I, of course, couldn’t tell him an answer verbally, so I tried an indirect message. What I did is that, I showed Kyo a picture of him and Ruki holding hands on the glass that can be called my abdomen. It lasted only seconds and I knew Kyo got the message when he smiled. Maybe Kyo thought he was going crazy, but he wasn’t. “I knew I could count on you Valentine…” Since then, I’m pretty sure Kyo knew I was alive. But he never made me speak, though I plan to soon.

And after a few occurrences, I revealed my true self; separating my soul from the mirror. I am a goddess, living in a mirror. Kyo didn’t tell Ruki until a little bit later. But he spilt me in two and gave the top half to Ruki; so they could be connected.

Present

Since that day, Kyo always got home with a smile and always cheerily waved hello. 8 years together… That is more that anybody would’ve ever expected from the two. But it was clear that it was true love; those where some interesting years. I remember the start of it… when they thought they had reached a fairly big obstacle; doubt.

January 28, 2004

“Valentine… it’s been 4 years. Should I ask? I mean... this has caused me so much anxiety. Maybe I’m way over my head. Maybe he doesn’t even love me like that.” I ordered a breeze to swift by and make the curtains caress his shoulder lightly. He smiled at me and I showed him a picture of his bed. He nodded and slowly walked over it and he made himself comfortable under the covers… but he didn’t go to sleep just yet. I knew he wanted an answer.

So I decided to speak up; so once again I walked out of the mirror. “Kyo-chan…” I started and he immediately rose from the bed and smiled and with his smile in place, glared at me; probably for the nickname. But the glint he had on his eyes said he didn’t mind at all; he’s like a son to me.

“I think he’s perfect for you… Doubt is just nerves, and lots of people have made mistakes because of it, don’t let it happen to you.” He smiled even brighter when I said that while sitting next to him. And then he started talking. “I’m gonna do it Valentine. I love him too much to hold back.” I hummed in approval. “How are you going to do it?” I asked after a few seconds. “Actually, I already have the ring. It’s this one he’s been looking for centuries. But this one will have our names engraved on it.”

“Now I just need the place and time. Where should it be?” I smiled at this… and so I whispered “There’s no place like home.” And he gave a nod of understanding and put his thinking face on. “But I don’t know when it’s appropriate” He said with a pout. “Maybe you should wait a little just a little to see how he really loves you ne?” He nodded “And for how it’s going to happen… I got it!” And I had to ask… otherwise he would say nothing; I should know.

“It’ll be just a normal date… at the start that is. After going around town and having lots of fun, I’ll bring him here and sing him a wedding song. Then when the best moment comes, where he’s about to kiss me, I’ll ask.” He said the last in a cheerful whisper. “Awww Kyo-chan. He’ll never regret it… I’m sure of that” I had to compliment him… I moved my ghostly arms over to him and hugged him, my white-blue-ish hair falling to one side. “Thanks” That’s all I needed.

TBC

Weird? Appealing? Sweet? Horrible? Eandearing? Boring? What do you think!?! I've been working on this for a while now, I thought the idea a little risky but nah!It's just fine! I already have  it written except for the Omake, so I'll update pretty quickly!

Don’t ask a Question… (Not a Single One)

This, I will try to write without asking questions. Because in everything I write, there is a doubt and I know not why this is. I do not think of it as insecurities, on the contraire I think I am bold and try to find answer to what I want to know. It is so hard to stop wondering; your mind is naturally curious and when you purposely try to prevent it from asking, it just wants to know more. I try to find a way to explain myself without having to make one question; I am sick and tired of asking and not receiving a thing. Mostly these things I ask to myself, and of course I will not have an answer.

This hated feeling I get when I ask and there is no second opinion. But I can stop it not. You see there is this thing that bothers me deeply; ugh, there was going to be a question here but let me rephrase, it is very hard to control one self. I cannot control my attitude or my supposed bad manner, because aware of them I am not. I cannot seek for something when I do not know its origins, or whereabouts. I cannot answer a question without a book previously read as I cannot write down without a pencil.

Another thing, I do not find normal that when you spot a strong person you test them out to see what they can handle. Why—no, not another question. There is no reason to be untrustworthy I think; it is childish and I cannot understand why such mental torture must be applied to the strong ones. It is necessary not I feel. And even as I get closer and closer to finishing a page without a single question, my brain remains asking as to why I must do this. To prove myself maybe, but my deeper thought tells me that is being weak; to prove something to oneself is to be unsure and unclear about it.

There remains another question I refuse to write down directly. My hopes say that maybe, just maybe, this page has taught you something; that my ramblings have made some sense and that what I think of as knowledge is not just a want to fit in with higher people; I know not who I mean by, but someday there will be sense in that slight sentence. There is still some space for a few paragraphs, let’s just hope your naïve or young; maybe wise and old, or special in between, can take more of this nonsense of a challenge I have made up.

It is a challenge that goes against human nature; talk slightly about oneself and ask no questions. Questions make somebody insecure and sometimes it makes you realize things that a certain emotion would have blurred at that moment. But sometimes questions take over your space and they keep rolling out of their nest. Let’s talk a little about how life goes though. You know; life is like a cop.

The first few years will seem embarrassing and hard to remember for you. You develop your skills watching others interact. Your first gun is handed to you and you wield it with slight shakes of fear; but when you grow attached to it, it looks friendly. Afterwards you take your first shot and it feels scary at first; but amazing the second and you feel yourself addicted; avoid this. No it’s not the gun that should excite you; it’s why you use this gun and how you used it.

Then you will encounter criminals; and sometimes there might be gunshots. It can turn out anyway after this. There might be a chance you learn how to deal with the sounds of bullets and others around you growing nervous; and there’s the chance you get hurt. You can be traumatized but survive or take it in your long notes of survival. Or it can take you down with it; just like the world itself we are a venom working too fast for its own good.

If you are a good cop, you will see your gun next to you, kiss it and empty it out on the floor as you take your last breaths and remember your good deeds. And if you failed at your job you will grab the gun and embrace it to never let go… But it all comes down to whether or not the cop knew why he was a cop. No one will know of what he thought; and that is when again you ask yourself. Ah, I have exceeded the page… worry not, I am finished. This ramble just ends with another question. Whether I am truly done or not will just remain another question...